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Why are some people defined by their one or two flaws rather than there numerous positive abilities?

Is it because they are people that reveal their flaws and are open about them or is it because they don’t admit them?

One of my flaws for a long time has been (and still is) finishing things I started. 

How did I start overcoming this flaw?  Here is how I started to overcome it:

  1. I first asked people what my flaws were.  They told me them and this was the one that kept coming up. 
  2. I realized my flaw.  Came to grips with it and started putting systems in place to overcome it.
  3. Looked at the root of my flaw.  The root of my flaw was that I didn’t particularly find joy in finishing things.  So what did I do?  I started to enjoy putting the final detailed touches on a project.  Whether it was sweeping off sidewalks or following through on a project that I was finishing. 
  4. Celebrated times I overcame them.  When I realized at times of conquering my flaw I celebrated and thought about them for awhile.  I enjoyed them and realized the value in conquering them.
  5. Made lists and lists.   I made lists of what I needed to do.  I made to-do lists daily.  I made lists of projects for the future when I thought of things, and I put reminders in place so I didn’t forget.

 

Do you know what your flaws are? 

Are you willing to put the work into minimizing or eliminating it? 

If you have eliminated it how have you done it?

 

When you stop paying attention to your negative emotions and just masking them with positives you could cause huge problems down the road. 

We are so into the self help books that tell us to be positive all the time.  Don’t hear what I am not telling you.  I am all about being positive in every situation.  The key is not to suppress the negative emotions that come.  You need to recognize them as they are coming and figure out how to learn from it.

Negative emotions have similar affects as failure.  You learn the most from failure but most people don’t want to experience it.  Negative emotions are a part of growing as a person and if you try mask them with positive emotions you will never learn anything.

Be optimistic in life but learn from negative emotions and things that happen.

A great article related to this is at Personal Growth Map.

Dan McCarthy at Great Leadership always has great insight on leadership principles and makes them easy to understand.  He did it again with How to Create Motivating Work.

Here is Dan’s Top 10 list on How to Create a Positive Working environment:

1. Create motivating work.
2. Hire A players and get rid of C players.

3. Don’t micromanage – get out of the way.

4. Promote your team’s work.
5. Loosen up the rules and bureaucracy.

6. Don’t be a jerk.

7. Get personal.

8. Set a good example.

9. Encourage camaraderie during work hours.

10. Pay people for what they are worth.

One of the biggest challenges I have at work is how to motivate others without using money as the key driver.

Many businesses will put in bonus systems by doing certain things.  I am not saying you shouldn’t reward people.  I just think you should be a little more creative and spontaneous when rewarding people.

Don’t always just do it with money.  Do it by creating a great work environment with the list Dan gave us above.  If you create an environment like this the money for the employees and the revenue for the business will take care of themselves.   Just make sure when you have success you make sure to reward your employees in one form or another.

All of the list is harder to measure than sales and other numbers goals.  But if you find a way to work on these continually and try to measure them you will find the DNA and personality of your company.  With numbers you are just getting the height and weight of your company.  We all know that height and weight don’t tell the true story.  Find out what your company is really about.

Distractions and disruptions are a part of life.  They both can change things.  This is how I define the two

Distractions: Little things that can change your routine and be a small bump in your road.  These things if not kept in check can ruin an otherwise productive day.  On the other hand they can help to make your realize what is going on around you.

Disruptions: Major things that would change not only your day but your life.  Such as having a baby.  I have just realized this one.  Disruptions force you to change your way of thinking and how you do things.

Both of these can become positive if you view them that way. 

How can Distractions become Positive?

  • Cause you to rethink your routine.
  • Makes you realize other things are important.
  • Most likely causes you to work on relationships rather than things.
  • Keep you on your toes

How can Disruptions become Positive?

  • Makes you prioritize things in your life.
  • Makes you value your time more.
  • Helps to make you slow down on some things and speed up on others.
  • May make you change some things you previously viewed as unchangeable.

Have Disruptions and Distractions been positive in the long run for you? 

How many of us really work hard on our thoughts?  How many of us get up every morning and say ‘My goal for today is to make sure my thoughts are pure’?  Should we?

Thoughts are one of those things that people never really talk about and never really think are a big deal.  I am beginning to think otherwise.  I found this quote the other day and I know Tony Dungy and Zig Ziglar have also said similar things.

“The thought manifests as the word, the word manifests as the deed, the deep develops into a habit; and habit hardens into character.”

So basically your thoughts end up being your character.  Wow, that is scary when I think about what my thoughts are sometimes.  So how do you keep your thoughts positive?

Here are my 5 steps to positive thinking:

  1. Wake up on Time: This is one of the ways that I know affects my thought life.  When I get up on time and am not rushed my thoughts stay more positive.
  2. Start Your Day Right: Read something positive that gets you focused for the day.  I try to read and pray in the morning.  This helps me to relax and get in the right frame of mind for the day.
  3. Encourage Others: Try to catch people doing something right instead of something wrong.  If you are focused more in finding right than finding fault that is where your thoughts will go.
  4. Watch what Goes in: Don’t just listen to anything and watch anything.  If you listen to trash and watch trash, that is exactly what will come out.  Be very careful what you listen to and see.
  5. Don’t Watch the News Before Bed: Over half of Americans do this.  The news isn’t what it used to be.  Most of the things on the news are negative things.  No wonder we are such a negative culture.  And whatever you do before bed repeats over and over in your head.  So instead read something positive or listen to some good relaxing music.

Be your own filter on the outside so your mind doesn’t have to do as much work on the inside.

Do you claim to be the positive, spiritual, loving person?  Are you working so hard to convince people how they should act?

Why do we need to claim and convince?  Shouldn’t our actions be enough to let people know what we stand for and our work ethic.  By us saying these things but then walking around the office with a frown on your face don’t you think that sends more of a message than anything.

I just read a book called Tangible Kingdom.  In one of the Chapter Hugh Halter talks about Posture and how we are so concerned about what we say that we forget about our posture.  I know my posture isn’t always right.  I say I want to be loving and then judge others for what I am doing and they are not.  I think my way is the right way.

Jon Gordon, the author of the Energy Bus, which by the way is a great quick read. Had a great blog entry on our actions.  Here are some notes I had from his energy bus book:

  • Everything happens for a reason you can either choose to ignore it or ask what that reason is and try to learn from it.
  • Every problem has a gift for you in it.
  • A smile changes the way you feel, the way you think, and how you interact with others.
  • Rule #1 : You’re the driver of the bus
    • 1. My vision for my life (including my health) is.
    • 2. My vision for my work, career, job, and team is.
    • 3. My vision for my relationship and family is.
  • Every crisis offers an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser; to reach deep within and discover a better you that will create a better outcome.
  • What we think about we attract.  Focus on what you do want and not what you don’t want.
  • Events plus perception equals outcome.
  • Which Dog are you going to feed the positive one or the negative one?
  • It’s physically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same moment.
  • When you go to bed at night think about the one great golf shot thing you did during the day.
  • Rule #2: Desire, Vision, and Focus Move your Bus in the right direction
  • Rule #3: Fuel your ride with positive energy
  • Rule #4: Invite People on your bus and share your vision for the road ahead.
  • Rule #5: Don’t waste your energy on those who don’t get on the bus.
  • Rule #6: Post a sign that says no energy vampires allowed on your bus.
    • Your positive energy and vision must be greater than anyone’s and everyone’s negativitiy.  Your certainty must be greater than everyone’s doubt.
    • Be Better than you were yesterday.
    • If you don’t have energy you can’t lead inspire or make a difference.
  • Rule #7: Enthusiasm Attracts more Passengers and Energizes them during the ride.
  • Rule #8: Love your passengers
  • Five Ways to Love your Passengers
    • 1. Make time for them: You can’t nurture relationships at your desk.  Be engaged in the present moment.  Don’t focus on ten other things focus your energy on them.
    • 2. Listen to Them
    • 3. Recognize Them: Personal birthday card with a hand-written note.
    • 4. Serve Them
    • 5. Bring out the best in them:

Rule #9: Drive with Purpose

So what steps are you going to take when it comes to letting your posture and actions speak louder than your words?